Married to a Homosuxual/Lesbian what do you do?

From: Dunggate (Original Message) Sent: 23/10/2007 12:57

You are married to a non believer you are a Christian you later find out that they are Homosexual/Lesbian

What does this person do?

Do you think it is ok for them to divorce and remarry?

And what does the bible say on this

From: trevor_of_bude Sent: 23/10/2007 18:21
It should never have happend - I would be worried about the preparation for marriage that didnt bring this to light!

however if you marry someone and find out they have homosexual tendencies there is no reason why you should need to divorce as long as both the man and the woman committ themselves to a monogamous faithful relationship.Some people are susceptible to to certain types of sexual temptation but they do not have to indulge them - that is matter of self-control and choice

I cannot find anywhere in the Bible that declares that temptation to sexual sin (whether gay or adultery) is wrong. It is the practice of sexual sin that is wrong.

For me the greater problem is the law forcing christians to go against conscience and having to endorse gay relationships or being orced to put young boys into 'gay' civil partnerships or fostering. In todays paper there was a report of a Magistrate in Sheffield who had to resign because he was forced to put boys into civil partnership families and it went against his conscience.

From: Merry20004 Sent: 23/10/2007 21:04
I heard about that Magistrate on the news too Trevor. What about HIS rights as a Christian? They weren't taken into consideration at all!

From: Dunggate Sent: 24/10/2007 15:04
Agreed Merry, "what about the Magistrates rights as a Christian"
these days it seems that we are getting new words into our vocabulary and the word ethical no place for in society.

Like you Trevor I am so angered that the law is being changed to suit man and the days we are living in and the position Christians are finding themselves in this battle of making stands. All point's to the word of God which shows us this is the birthpangs of the last days.

Trevor, the lady in question became a Christian after her marriage and was unaware of the homosexuality until she found her husband in a compromising situation with another.

Elaine.

From: trevor_of_bude Sent: 24/10/2007 21:20
she has the right to divorce for sexual infidelity but (and its a big but) it is not compulsory!
I assume she has talked to him because homosexual behaviour is learnt and isnt compulsory. Sometimes the person involved will have been tempted by the excitement of taboo, sometimes because they feel it is a price to be paid to retain the love of another and sometimes it can be the result of simple temptation and as such is forgiveable by the person hurt by the action.
both parties (assuming they are christians) need to discuss the situation and maybe with the help of Christian leaders or a mutually trusted friend.

In my experience there is usually a catalyst that moves one from the tempttion stage to the practice stage and the removal of the catalyst may restore the relationship.

One of the problems provoked by the Gay 'evangelists' as well as the 'free thinkers' is that there is no such thing as sexual sin and their lobby is very welll organised.

Again in the Paper today a couple from Chard have been told they may be deregistered from fostering because they will not proote homosexuality as normal and it also said in the article that teenagers are recommended to attend gay society meetings. A really fruitful place to turn the minds of youngsters at a vulnerable stage. I can recall several occasions when I was a teenager in the late 50s where I was 'invited' to enter the homes of closet gays to have some fun and I spent some months learning about sex from a man down the road when I was 11 without knowing it may not be proper behaviour.

From: Jessie¡ Sent: 26/10/2007 18:54
if they are practicing homosexual/lesbian then certainly there are grounds for divorce as the marriage vows have already been broken ...of course it is up to the individual and they may feel that they can carry on ..i have a close friend who is going through this at the moment and believe me its a heartbreaker....specially when there are children involved....jessie

From: Gilly Sent: 26/10/2007 23:35
Sadly I had a close relative whose wife divorced him for another woman....he died a few years later a totally broken man, he was my dear brother, and I have a dear friend whose husband left her for another man several years ago.

You posted a lot of common sense on this matter trevor, but sadly it is usually the case that the one who leaves for a homosexual relationship in the two relationships I mentioned could not have been Christians in the first place.
It has a left a trail of broken lives but fortunately the children of my girlfriend who later re-married a wonderful Christian man are actively involved in youth Alpha in their church.

Your right Jessie. It's a real heart breaker.

God Bless
Love Gilly

From: openairpreacherman Sent: 27/10/2007 15:13
Two passages are relevant to the issue of divorce.

Ezr 10:3 Now therefore let us make a covenant with our God to put away all the wives, and such as are born of them, according to the counsel of my lord, and of those that tremble at the commandment of our God; and let it be done according to the law.
Ezr 10:44 All these had taken strange wives: and some of them had wives by whom they had children.

Ezra found that on the return from Captivity that the men of Israel had taken heathen wives. The only option was to divorse them all including the children. This they did and they took Israelite women to wives. In this way the nation of Israel was spared oblivion.

Deu 24:1 When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. 2 And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife. 3 And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth it in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, which took her to be his wife; 4 Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before the LORD: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee for an inheritance.

In this passage we notice a number of things.

1. Divorce was not forbidden.
2. Remarriage was not forbidden.
3. Remarriage to the original husband was an abomination.

in the NT

1Co 7:12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. 15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. 16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?

The points made by Paul are...

1. v12 If a man has an unbelieving wife and she wants to stay with her husband then let her stay.
2. v13 If a woman has an unbelieving husband and he wants to stay with his wife then let her stay.
3. v14 The unbeliever is (in this life) considered holy by the Lord in the case of an unequal yoke. The children are holy too.
4. v15 If the unbeliever wants to divorce. then let it happen. the married partner is not bound to remain married in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
5. v16 The christian wife or husband might lead the unbeliever to know Christ too.

It seems this issue is not as clear cut as might at first appear.

Steve.

PS I can see no scripture that says that the marriage promises are broken by sin, but l can see lots of scripture that indicate that a marriage can be dissolved.

From: Dunggate Sent: 27/10/2007 19:25

Thank you Steve and others who have taken the time to reply on this thread,

Agreed Trevor this should never have happened my O/P sorry , did not explain sorry that the Christian women was not a Christian when they first became married this was a later conversion whilst married.

From steve's post
Taking these two passages of scripture onboard one from old testament and other new
Deu 24:1 When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. 2 And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife.
1Co 7:12 But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. 13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy
As you say steve "It seems this issue is not as clear cut as might at first appear"....

and as Jessie has stated ........heartbreaker....especially when there are children involved.
This is the dilema this person which caused me to write up on has,.....
the situation of not wanting to rock the boat, so to speak as the child of the marriage is in process of exams which will determine their future.

Do the Christian parent take them aside and explain why there is now seperate bedrooms as the unbelieving parent has not repented only in a way of saying the subject is closed and not willing to discuss the matter.

Elaine

From: Jessie¡ Sent: 27/10/2007 21:11
as i am closely involved in my friends dilemma ..i would say that the husband had come to faith in christ and was an open witness.....they were both going on with God and attending a good church ...there are three children...the oldest knows but it has been kept from the two youngest , only to say that that the father is going through a bad time ....she has held her ground and has not put him out and is believing God for his return to God ....he has gone openly into this life style ...but we know that the way is open for him to come back to the Lord at any time as christ died for his sins ...never give up on the prodigals cos God never does ....

GWT: So, people who think they are standing firmly should be careful that they don't fall. (GOD'S WORD®)

this is spoken to christians

jessie